Love is something that can’t stamp out entirely. It’s buried somewhere deep down in the heart that is likely to come to surface somewhere in the course of life.
Has it ever happened to you? Little things stored in the memory box inexorably come in front of you when you aren’t even thinking about them. A small photograph or a déjà vu moment is enough. Walking on a road, sitting on the terrace of your home, or just a sultry afternoon can bring back those buried memories from the graveyard of your heart.
The same happened to her and me. Like every relation, we had issues, and it’s been a long time since we were not in contact with each other. She worked in a company so as per her work demands; she remained out most of the time. While, I enjoyed staying at home because I was a struggling entrepreneur. Uncertainty in my life was profound but there was one thing for which I was very certain, and that was her.
I remember, we were so close together when we were kids. The reminiscence of the playful childhood is so beautiful and colorful. A slideshow begins as I look back. The usual hide out in a scary house nearby, the paper boats in the rainy season, the tickling fight, and every moment where we were with each other flashes in front of my eyes. These raucous memories in the heart are the reason that still makes me laugh and cry at the same time.
Once, we were walking on the edge of the boundary wall of my house. One at a time we would walk, and the other would clap as if there was a circus show. The one standing on the edge would take a bow just like in the shows we witnessed. It was my turn to walk; she was standing near the wall waiting for me to start. As I started, my balance got disturbed and I was about to fall, she took the charge of the situation and ran towards me with open arms to catch me. I fell on her, but she toppled and lost her balance due to my weight. As a result, we both fell to the ground. She hurt her elbow with a slight cut in the head near the eye. I had injured my both knees with a thick cut on the right hand’s elbow. It makes me laugh as I remember how our fathers scolded us for this extraordinary stunt, how our mothers would discuss our great fall giving continuous curses to the TV shows and how we used to giggle with a slight squint of our eyes of this situation.
Our houses used to light up with our shrill laughter. It’s like we gave life to the walls of the house. Every day, we would meet and laugh to our heart’s content. Our parents used to see us with a lot of hopes, and their eyes spoke something which was mystifying.
I can recall everything except where things changed. I think life happened! This "life" is the thing which has to occur in everybody’s life. Things never remain the same as you grow old. Priorities change, places change, and people change. Ever since she went to college, I could notice a slight change in her but overlooking, I let it pass. Had I checked on her at that time, distance couldn’t have room in our lives. I am not even sure that it was the college that changed her or our different perspectives. Our friendship belonged to that time where we did not know the meaning of the word “Perspective.” Then why did it matter now? It was beyond any judgment. Then why there are judgments now? Was it my mistake or hers? Where did I wrong her, it was she who doesn’t understand what her priorities should be? There were a plethora of questions continuously running in my mind tirelessly waiting for the answer but time killed them. However, their spirits were still there yearning for peace.
She had a boyfriend. I didn’t. For her, love was a game. For me, love was a promise. It’s not like that I was jealous or something. Being cousin sisters, we both have our different take on various things. We argued many times which never reached a conclusion. I just wanted her to understand that one day she is going to pay for her games. Yeah, I cared for her but by my continuous negative comments; she had the notion that I was judgmental. After awhile, she stopped sharing her life with me.
It is not that my sister is a bitch but yes, she had some wrong choices. I know she is an emotional fool, I saw her crying many times when her boyfriends thrashed her, or they have a fight about something. When she is in a relationship, she is 100% into the man, but there would be another guy on the line ready to fill in the vacancy as soon as it is vacant. Often confused, she would enter into a new relationship without giving herself a break. She neither gives the guy a chance nor does she give the time to herself to understand the situation. Clinging on is not her forte, I guess. Her feelings towards the guy she’s in a relationship with are always ephemeral. Moving on is a child’s play for her. Maybe, that’s why she was happier in her life as compared to me. Sometimes, I would step in her shoes and walk to understand her point of view but disappointed, I put aside the shoes.
In my opinion, every relationship comes with problems, and if two persons wish to stay together, they have the strength to fight against all the odds. I don’t understand the confusion often people have about love. Love is such a simple thing between two souls, ready to stay together lifelong. Nevertheless, no matter how much I tried, I never understood her. Putting my opinions on her table was always a wrong decision, still is and I don’t know for how long it would be.
I know she is in town. She is on an extended holiday from her office and why wouldn’t she? It’s her wedding month after all. Fifteen days more and she would be married to the love of her life. My immature sister is finally getting married and is ready to share an inseparable bond. I am so happy for her, and she is elated for herself. Her cheeks have turned a little rosy; maybe that’s the aura of pure love. Her lips are always curved up into a smile when she thinks about him. I wanted to see this change in her. I wanted her to be truly happy.
Despite the distance between us, we hugged our differences as she got down on the train. In that one hug, we forgot every fight we had, every dirty word we threw at each other. The effect of seeing each other after a long time was this magical. We finally realized that we missed our company. These fights seemed vague and hooey.
The ringing phone yanked me back from the reverie. I answered the phone call to her squeaky voice asking me to get ready for a girls party tonight. A smile brushed upon my face as I understood that my sister would always be a child at heart. Wonder, how her guy would manage her throughout his lifetime. She is a beautiful mess. Like every sister, my heart awaits to see her in the wedding dress. I want to hear the clinking of the bangles and the mellifluous sound of her anklets. Her wild side is much lovelier and why would it not be? After all, the most important thing a girl can wear is her originality.
With this thought, I turned towards the half made photo collage that I always wanted to fill in for her.